How to Get Your Guests to Respond to Your Wedding Invitation
Do you want your guests to respond to your wedding invites?
Make Sure Your RSVP Card has these 8 Essentials.
Key processes to implement BEFORE you order and print your stationery.
If you’re a member of one of the many free FB wedding groups, you’ll see that the couple’s #1 complaint is that none of their RSVPs have returned. Common questions and complaints include:
What can I do to prevent people from RSVPing for more people than we invited?
How do I get people to actually send back their RSVP card (and what to do about those who never sent it back)?
Why don't people RSVP on time (or at all)?
While not sending back an RSVP card may not be a big deal to your potential guests, it’s extremely important to you. Many of your wedding planning decisions and their associated costs highly depend on the number of people attending your wedding. While there isn’t much we can do to control what other people do with the information we provide them, we can make the process much more efficient and easy for the ones that will respond or perhaps influence those stragglers with highly organized and a well-written invitation most importantly the RSVP card.
One of the most important logistics to the success of having guests show up to your wedding is the RSVP card itself. I have seen many RSVP cards proudly displayed by brides that were not properly formatted. This small card is critical in facilitating guests’ responses to your invitation. Many times, the focus is so much on the “design” and not the information in print.
When included within your wedding invitation suite, this card should be designed to assist you with gathering information for your wedding, such as who can attend, the guest count, their entree selection, managing dietary needs, creating table assignments, and so much more.
If you plan to order printed wedding invitations, nearly every set should include the coveted RSVP card (or response card). Whether you request a digital RSVP or a mail-in, this tiny card plays a major impact on the number of guests that will show up at your wedding and celebrate with you. Before ordering and mailing your wedding invitations, take the time to read through this checklist to make sure your card has most of these essentials. While it may not get all your guests to “Kindly Respond,” it will do some heavy lifting for you in advance to ensure most will follow through.
Here are the main essentials you want to include or determine if you want to include as part of your RSVP process. I will expand on those items further within the post, along with a Bonus Tip on Elegance and tips on RSVP Envelopes. But here’s a quick list:
Reply by Date (digital response friendly)
A tiny number on the back (or incorporate it in the front)
Space for Guests to Write their name
Space for each guest to write their name next to their meal choice
Space for Dietary Restrictions
Space (or a line) to control the number of seats reserved (digital response friendly)
Spell their name correctly (digital friendly)
Give Instructions on returning the cards
Essential 1: Timely Reply by Date (digital response friendly)
One of the leading causes for guests to not respond to your invitation is because the “reply by date” is “untimely.” There is a timeline for mailing wedding invitations, and it’s for a reason. Ensure your RSVP date is at least six weeks before your wedding date and not earlier than eight weeks. If you place a date on there that is simply too early, you’ll set yourself up for delays in responses because it’s too early for guests to decide; this is especially true for people who work full-time, run businesses, have childcare, etc. If you happen to get those responses using a super early date, there is a high chance you will receive false replies and significant changes just weeks and even days before your wedding date; changes this close to your wedding day come at a cost.
Essential #2: A tiny number on the back (or incorporate it in the front)
You will get a guest who sends back your RSVP card but forget to write their name on it or to check off ‘accept’ or ‘regrets.’ This proactive, tried, and true move will keep your guest list on track. When assembling your invitation suite, write a tiny number on the back of your RSVP card that corresponds with your guest list. That way, if you get a no-name, inaccurate, or lost response. You can check the number against your master guest list and know exactly who it’s from. This could potentially solve one your “lost” RSVPs.
Essential #3: Space for Guests to Write their name
If there is no room or space to indicate names or the plus-ones, guests will be unsure what to do and will most times, do nothing at all. Be sure you leave plenty of room for guests to write not only their names but the names of their guests on your RSVP card by having at least two lines. This is especially important if many of your guests are allowed to bring a plus-one. *Pro Tip: Allow your elderly guests and allow a plus-one. Be mindful of single elderly guests when building your guest list and buckling down on “plus ones” for them. You may want to extend a plus one here, as the elderly guest may need a companion for travel or act as a caregiver.
Essential #4: Space for each guest to write their name next to their meal choice
If you plan to have a plated meal, you want to make sure your guests can write their name next to their meal choice rather than checking off a chicken or fish icon. If you have a household of 5 guests coming, how do you know who is getting which entree? If there is not enough space for your guests to write information, they will not be able to fill it in and, therefore, stall.
Essential #5: Space for Dietary Restrictions
If a guest is on a special meal plan, particular diet, allergic, vegetarian, pescatarian, gluten-free, sugar-free, alcohol-free, or on doctor's orders, you name it. Many will not want to impose on your day and consider not attending; they will also delay their responses as they may be unsure of their dietary plans or restrictions by your reply by date or wedding date and will need just a bit more time to decide or understand what their options are. Dietary restrictions are becoming more and more common. If you include a line or space for guests to list their needs and requirements, they can see that there will be special accommodations, then perhaps they will feel a bit more comfortable with possibly attending or responding on time. If your guests are responding online, still include a note regarding submitting meal choices and dietary restrictions online, and make sure to create this option on your wedding website.
It's important to provide this information to your caterer and planners the day you submit your counts. Many chefs are prepared for these types of requests and embrace them as they arrive.
Essential #6: Space (or a line) to control the number of seats reserved (digital response friendly)
Guests will delay their response or ignore the invitation because they are unsure of the number of guests they can include; some will not want to impose and avoid sending in the RSVP card back to you altogether. One way to fix this is to simply reiterate the number of people actually invited by printing an additional line on the RSVP card that says:
“______ seat(s) have been reserved for you,”
and then fill in the number yourself or have your stationery have this calligraphed or printed on the card. Having this printed may be a small fee, but it’s worth the small fee compared to paying extra guests.
If they are mailing the card back to you, add lines so guests can write their responses for those who can attend or have meal choices next to accept or regret.
For those that need to actually write on the card, you will have people that will ignore this (yes, I’ve seen where guests have crossed out the number that the bride and groom had written and then wrote in their own, higher number!), the best way to handle it is to call the “offending” party, and gently let them know that you’re looking forward to celebrating with them, but cannot accommodate the additional people they’ve indicated will also be coming. If you have to do this, don’t feel bad! You are not the ‘bad guy’ here.
Essential #7: Spell their name correctly (digital friendly)
You want to spell the guest's name correctly from the moment you begin drafting your list. This is especially true if you are requesting responses solely online. Nearly all wedding websites have features where you will need to set up guests' names exactly how your guest will spell their own names. If you spell it your way or the way you assume it is spelled, your guests will have difficulty submitting their RSVP online.
For example, if you setup “Catherine Smith” on your guest list, and she goes to submit her RSVP online and types her name as she spells her own name correctly as “Katherine Smith,” she will not be able to submit her RSVP. You would need to correct the spelling of her name in order for her to submit her online response.
If you are mailing invitations, this rule still holds true: spell your guest's name correctly. You’d be surprised at how people can feel miffed when they receive an invitation and see their name is incorrectly spelled and won’t respond to your invitation at all as a result of this annoyance.
I want to repeat this message again - It is especially important to take the time to properly spell your guest's name correctly, or they will have a hard from the beginning. Incorrectly spelled names carry over to the day of details as well. They will also attend your wedding looking at seating charts and place cards with their name spelled wrong; it’s not a good feeling.
Essential #8: Give Instructions on returning the cards
Provide a clear message on how your guests can return the card or respond. The best way is with an envelope; we’ll explain those essentials below. If you plan to have guests RSVP electronically, tell them with a short sentence. Ensure your wedding website isn’t super long strings of characters and numbers. It becomes quite a bit for someone to type that into a mobile phone. Include an email address just in case you may have issues with this.
While you don’t need the envelope for digital responses - it’s not ideal to skip the RSVP card altogether. You, in fact, very much still need it as it’s now a “response” card for all the reasons I stated above, and you want to include instructions on how they can go online to submit their response.
Bonus - “Elegant” Essential: Personalize the Invitation Card
This is high-level, the most classic, and most formal way. We call it the “Megan Markle” way. Having guest names printed (or written) directly on the invitation card in beautiful calligraphy print is the most formal way. This will make it explicitly clear who is invited. Layer this with fine paper, and you will set the bar and astonish your guests. They will see the effort and time you put into it, most will feel obliged to respond and on time. As with a “formal” wedding, this will cost more to do and actually take more time as you really have to fine-tune your guest list and get the names of all of your invited guests. But again, compared to the costs of having unexpected guests and unapproved “plus-ones” attend your wedding, I’d say this is worth the expense.
RSVP Envelopes
While many couples today opt out of using them and choose to go the digital route instead for RSVPs, many still use the classic RSVP envelopes. If you’re enclosing a card that allows guests to RSVP via USPS mail, there are some essentials you would want to include as well. These small and beautiful envelopes appear in your mailbox over time; they build pure excitement for the couple.
Essential #1: Reply Postage
This is easy to forget and one of the other leading causes for guests not to RSVP. Guests will delay their responses if no postage is included with your reply envelope. Make it easy for them to RSVP by including postage so they can drop the card in the nearest mailbox.
Essential #2 Return Address
Two things can happen here. If the guest places the card in the envelope supplied with the suite, let’s hope it has an address on it (usually the couple’s address, the parents or the wedding planners), whoever is managing the RSVPs. The possibility of having your response cards lost in the mail if this isn’t nailed down is high. The other error we have seen is the return to sender due to an inaccurate address on the RSVP envelope. Make sure the RSVP envelope has the correct address on it.
Did you find this blog post helpful?
If so, you may find my Guest Addressing Template and 15-minute video tutorial helpful for you build your guest list, manage your RSVP process, and most other stationery items you need for your wedding.
This is a Google Sheet; it is set up with formatting and formulas so you can plan for your invitations and manage your RSVPs with ease. Plus, you’ll be able to:
Setup the First 5 sets of guests that should be on your guest list (most forgotten)
Easily determine the number of invitations you need
Preformatted columns to make your envelope-addressing process easy and post office friendly.
Understand the RSVP Card Numbering System if you need to use it
Take advantage of the Built-In Calculator to Track the Total Number of Guests and RSVPs
about the author
Ruby Brewer-Watkins, is a Certified Wedding Planner who specializes in wedding stationery. Her guest list planning and creative process have created efficiency within her client projects, which allowed her to effectively collaborate, design and create beautiful wedding invitations and “day of” stationery for countless couples since 2015. 
Hi, I’m Ruby, your creative wedding professional. FINALLY, you made it! You can catch a glimpse into a few things I love, specifically how I passionately create wedding invitations and details for the “day of” for couples. I hope that that my blog posts and articles contained within this beautiful space truly inspire you. I offer unfiltered advice and space to give yourself permission to be creative and explore options, and ideas that are available to you to celebrate life's greatest moments.
