Mastering the Ceremony: 6 Essential Tips for Wedding Ceremony Planning
Have you thought about your wedding ceremony and its entirety? This blog post will help give you a quick overview of your wedding ceremony program, how guests should arrive, and some things to consider for your bridal party.
Planning the wedding of your dreams should also include what the wedding ceremony and, most importantly, the processional will look like. Wedding ceremonies and wedding professionals require just as much detailed planning as the reception.
The good news is as the wedding couple, you get to decide the best arrangements for the bridal party. While you're in control of making this choice, especially if you're having a religious ceremony, you should consider the officiant’s advice because he or she has experienced what works best and what must be done to meet traditional and religious regulations.
Here are 5 main points to consider when planning for your wedding ceremony:
Arrival
Processional
Bridal Entrance
Ceremony Service
Recessional
Private Moments
There are many traditions and cultures for weddings; this is the most traditional style but will vary by the couple, religious faiths, venue, size of wedding, and more. Most will embed these key (essential) points even with the smallest of weddings. I will break each of these down so you can apply these to your planning needs where needed.
Arrival
The groom and best man normally arrive about 30 minutes before the ceremony starts. They both enter the church through a side door, wait until the bride arrives, and then move to their positions at the altar and join the officiant. Parents and grandparents should also arrive at the ceremony at least 30 minutes before the ceremony begins to greet guests and receive boutonnieres and corsages if they haven’t received them already.
Processional
Did you know that rules regarding how the wedding party should enter or be positioned at the altar technically don’t exist? What you have seen or heard of in the past has been done in a similar fashion to “what works” over decades. The only exception is the bride and groom entrance. You and your wedding planner should rely heavily on what works for family circumstances, the size of the bridal party, the venue, the officiant’s advice, and wisdom. If at a church, the church coordinator is typically included in this conversation. Always remember to have a wedding rehearsal or practice session.
Here is the order of what “most weddings” have done: assuming that you have a “bridal party,” all parents are still in the picture, and grandparents are healthy enough to participate by walking down the aisle. Do what works for you and your family.
Order of Processional
Grandparents of Bride
Grandparents of Groom
Parents of the Groom
Mother of Bride (usually escorted by a Usher, Close Friend or Relative)
Wedding Party (can enter as pairs or “unpaired”)
Maid of Honor
Best Man
Ring Bearer
Flower Girl
Bride and her Father
Note: The maid of honor, best man, ring bearer, and flower girl must be near the bride and groom since all have active roles during the ceremony.
Some things to consider: If the wedding party includes a maid of honor and a matron of honor, who will hold the bridal bouquet during the ceremony? Will the flower girl and ring bearer remain positioned at the altar with the attendants?
Bridal Entrance
The bride is usually escorted by her father, who walks on her left side. If her father is deceased, a brother, uncle, godfather, or close family friend can take his place. In addition, an acceptable rule in today’s weddings is to have the bride’s mother walk her daughter down the aisle. If the bride has both a father and a stepfather, etiquette states that she should not be escorted down the aisle by both. Instead, her father should escort her down the aisle, even if she lives with her mother and stepfather. If she has lost contact with her father but is present at the wedding, her stepfather may escort her down the aisle if he has raised her. Lately, it is also been done where the bride’s father escorts her to her stepfather, who then gives her away at the altar, or vice versa.
Additionally, in today’s modern tradition, a more mature, more independent bride may walk down the aisle alone or have her groom join her as she approaches the altar.
Note: These are simply social etiquette rules to consider. Every family circumstance is different, and certain situations require families to “bend” the rule when and if necessary.
When the bride and her escort arrive at the altar, she lets go of her escort’s arm and moves the flowers to her left hand. The bride’s escort remains at her left side, or a step behind her, until the officiant asks, “Who presents this woman (or couple) in marriage?” In response to this question, which is also known as the bridal presentation or “presentation of the bride”.
Ceremony Service
As the couple, it is strongly suggested that you explain your ideas for your ceremony clearly, honestly, and openly when meeting with your officiant. Though some officiants may allow the couple to personalize the ceremony if certain requirements are met, other officiants may be reluctant. For example, couples may have to choose from a pre-approved list of music and reading selections. However, always remember that while the discussion may be appropriate, couples should never haggle with the officiant as they would with a vendor or wedding service provider.
If many guests who are unfamiliar with the faith will be attending the ceremony, you should provide a printed program to explain the parts of the ceremony, as well as the words of prayers and hymns. The printed program can also include the names of those who read at the ceremony and rules that guests may not know.
Recessional
The wedding recessional is the order in which the newlywed couple and wedding participants exit the ceremony the same way they came in. Like the processional, there's a specific order based on the couple's preference. What’s most important at this time is that you will take your first steps as newlyweds and symbolically mark the beginning of your lifelong journey together, exiting the ceremony space with your nearest and dearest following close behind in a show of celebration and support.
Once the recessional music begins, the maid of honor is to return the bride’s bouquet to her. The bride and the groom kiss, if permitted, and then turn to face family and friends. The bride, now married, then places the bouquet in her right hand and slips her left hand through the groom’s right arm, and they proceed down the aisle together. If the wedding party contains more groomsmen than bridesmaids, the groomsmen usually pair off and walk behind the couples. However, if the wedding party contains an odd number of groomsmen to bridesmaids, the extra groomsmen follow the couples in a centered single line. The bride usually gives her mother and mother-in-law a flower from her bouquet during the recessional. The groom, on the other hand, usually kisses his mother and mother-in-law and shakes hands with his father and father-in-law.
Some things to consider:
If the wedding is held in a church, the best man usually returns to the church quarters or office after the recessional to deliver the officiant’s fee and offer a cash gift to each altar server, although this task can also be completed beforehand. In the winter, the best man also announces that the couple’s coats are ready in the vestibule and moves the groom’s coat from the vestry if necessary. The best man is still responsible for those tasks if the wedding is held at a site other than a church.
Bonus Planning Tip #1 - Who’s Seated
At the front of the ceremony site, several pews in a church or rows of seats on either side of the aisle are reserved for immediate family and, sometimes, a few very close friends. According to the standard rules of etiquette, and depending on the family’s size, you and your future spouse can have exclusive use of the first row or share it with the rest of their families.
In large families, brothers and sisters who aren’t participating in the ceremony would share the second row.
The bride’s family traditionally occupies the pews or seats on the left side of the aisle, while the groom’s family occupies those on the right. In addition, the parents should be seated closest to the aisle.
Bonus Planning Tip #2 - How Guests Arrive
Traditionally, each female guest is escorted to her seat by an usher who offers his right arm to her, while each male guest is simply led to his seat by an usher. If a couple wishes to remain together when seated, the usher can just say, “Please follow me.”
Note that guests shouldn't be seated after the bride’s mother is seated. Instead, guests who arrive late should wait at the rear of the ceremony site, or they can slip into a back pew or seat from a side aisle.
The next thing to consider is whether or not you need programs. If you are unsure if you need these, my recommendation is to create an outline.
An outline of the wedding ceremony is another vital piece of information for the officiant and coordinators. Once you devise the outline, you can also decide if this is helpful for your guests to know. Remember, you don’t have to print programs for every single guest attending because people share; some guests only attend the reception. The rule of thumb is that 40% of your guest list people share and arrive at the reception only. The outline typically includes the processional songs, any readings or special tributes, exchanging of vows and rings, pronouncement of the couple, and recessional.
Private Time
Traditionally, the groom doesn’t see the bride in her wedding dress until the ceremony begins. However, today’s brides and grooms often see each other before the ceremony for a private photography session. The groom then meets the bride to spend some quiet time together before the hectic wedding day begins. During this time, the couple can exchange gifts, read poetry and letters to each other, or just enjoy the moment’s magic. After this private time, the photographer usually begins photographing the couple. Usually, these are the best shots since the couple is relaxed. Their families and the attendants are also photographed. Taking photos during this time allows all the family images to be taken at one time, so more time can be spent with guests during the ceremony and the reception.
about the author
Ruby Brewer-Watkins, is a Certified Wedding Planner who specializes in wedding stationery. Her guest list planning and creative process have created efficiency within her client projects, which allowed her to effectively collaborate, design and create beautiful wedding invitations and “day of” stationery for countless couples since 2015. 
Hi, I’m Ruby, your creative wedding professional. FINALLY, you made it! You can catch a glimpse into a few things I love, specifically how I passionately create wedding invitations and details for the “day of” for couples. I hope that that my blog posts and articles contained within this beautiful space truly inspire you. I offer unfiltered advice and space to give yourself permission to be creative and explore options, and ideas that are available to you to celebrate life's greatest moments.
